Do you ever have those moments where you wonder where your family comes from?

If you're an avid read, you would know that I am not in contact with my blood family. Pettiness and drama are the main reasons for this. My brother, who I love and adore and two aunts and a cousin are all the family I have contact with. This might be more than some, but with the amount of family members I have, this is dismal.

As you grow, you learn that family isn't all about genetics. It isn't just about your birth mum and dad, or extended relations, it becomes about more. Family is created when you surround yourself with people who love and respect you. People who care enough to ask you how you are and what can I do to help. People who take the time to share love with you. This could be a friend, an adoptive family, a group of people or a partner.

What I can tell you, is what family is not;

Family are not people who turn their backs on you when you need them the most.

Family are not those that deny you out of jealousy or hate.

Family are not the people in your life that bring you down or create negativity.

So many times over my 34 years here, I have had to wonder what makes people tick. What is it that drives people to do or say things. Most of the time negativity is the answer. Either they are experiencing something traumatic themselves, they require a certain element of drama in their lives or they are just plain and simple, fucked up.

But when your own blood family turn their back on you, what do you do? I guess it is like grieving the loss of a loved one. you go through the stages of grief.

Denial. Firstly you have a fight with a family member and you aren't talking. Something will happen and you will tell yourself you'll never talk to them again. You'll never deal with that shit again. But deep down, you know that next week they'll come crawling back, or you will. You know that it will sort itself out eventually. After a week passes, then a month, you are still thinking it will sort itself out, I know it will ...

Anger. After some time passes, you realise that there is no making up or no forgiving the person/s you have had a falling out with. You become angry towards them and want to rage at them. It is at this point you might unfriend them on Facebook and block them so they cannot see your life. You might vent to others hoping to get some people on your side. Or you might just sit back and silently stew on all that has happened and how you got here.

Depression/Loneliness. This is the hardest part. If you make it out of anger, and you still are no longer in contact with your family. This is where one will start to feel lonely. This is the point where you believe you will never see them or anyone again. You feel isolated from the family group and your thoughts can run away from you. You fight the urge to want the contact, also fight the urge to cut yourself off from the world. This, as the title depicts, is a sad time. Mostly spent wallowing in your own self pity. Which by the way, you are most entitled to. This stage can last from a few weeks or months to years.

Upward Turn. By this point some time has passed. You have had the time to process your circumstances and have come to deal with the fact you have separated yourself from the people who are meant to love you unconditionally. This does not mean that you completely forgive or repent everything that has been said, or more so, hasn't been said, but you have come to terms with the circumstances and are able to move forward. It is at this time that you realise who you WANT in your life versus who you NEED. This is a very liberating time, allowing you the knowledge that only time can teach you.

Acceptance. Following on from the upward turn, you come to accept your circumstances for what they are. You have a bastard of a family and they do not deserve your time. HOPE is what you have now, hope to fill your life with the people you need, people who lift you up and make your life better. Not stalker family members who trail your account but never say hi. Yeah we all know those ones. They don't deserve your time. Don't waste your energy. HIT UNFRIEND! Release yourself from their clutches and move the hell on.

I have been blessed to a have a few amazing people in my life, more than a few actually. My immediate family for starters. Hubby and my four amazing children. My adopted family by marriage, my brother, who after all the shit that hit the fan can still snapchat me funny photos and the above mentioned aunts and cousin.

The rest of the family, I couldn't even tell you where they are. In the last five to six years, there have been weddings, engagements, milestone birthdays, babies born and people lost. I heard nothing from anyone. My lowest point, which came somewhere between depression and the upward turn, was the passing of my great aunt, and not a soul told me. Not a phone call, a message, a courier pigeon, nothing. I was heartbroken and embarrassed. But it also forced me out of my slump and pushed me into the reality of the situation and the people I was dealing with and acceptance followed soon after.

So to those who feel trapped, may I recommend a book to you. It is called The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck. Brutally honest, in your face, to the point and so fucking true. Do not, I repeat DO NOT give these people your fucks or you will soon have wasted them all on people who don't deserve them. Peace Out!

Santa's Magical Kingdom brings the magic of Christmas to life this November and December.

From the 18th November to 23rd December, Caulfield Racecourse will transformed into a winter wonderland, full of activities that will capture the attention of young and old. After four successful years, Santa, Mrs Clause, Rudolph and all their friends will return to share the magic of Christmas with thousands of people from throughout Australia.

 

This year, we will be celebrating Rudolph's birthday! Rudolph loves to party, so we need to impress him and celebrate in style! You will have the opportunity to join Rudolph, Mrs Clause, The Snow Queen and the Trills, Poppy and Branch to celebrate. All included in the ticket price is this amazing opportunity plus each child will receive a special gift! But Rudolph's celebrations will only occur or certain days, so head to the website for more details! 

 

With more than 70 years combined industry experience the team behind Santa's Magical Kingdom have worked with a wide variety of major worldwide brands including DreamWorks, Warner Bros, DC Comics, 20th Century For and BBC Worldwide.

 

These guys have put together an amazing event that will entertain with a Magical Christmas walk through, a special snow land where you can meet The Snow Queen, gingerbread land where you can create your own gingerbread, interactive letter writing area and storytelling with Mrs Clause. Not to mention the amazing amusement rides and games; including Santa's sleigh ride, Ferris wheel, the Elves Magical Train Ride and the Largest Slippery Slide in the country! 

W I N

To be a part of all the magical fun and games, all you have to do is follow these simple rules! I have two family passes to giveaway, which means two chances to win!! 

1. Follow Middle Class Mamas on Instagram and Facebook
2. On Facebook - like the Santa's Magical Kingdom post, pinned to the top of the page and comment your favourite Christmas tradition or movie or place and why.
3. On  Instagram - like the Santa's Magical Kingdom post and tell me your favourite Christmas tradition, movie or place and why

T&C's

Competition open to Australian residents only.

Tickets for Saturday 19th November 2016 6-9pm session only.

Tickets are non transferable or refundable.

Only entries that complete all requirements will be elegible. Winners will be drawn at random.

Competition opens Friday the 14th October and closes Friday the 28th October. Winners announced on Saturday 29th October through the respecting social media platform.

  

Good morning and welcome to the start of another week! 

For us, this week is the last week of school before the September holidays! It will also bring loads of footy, food and family time. 

Yes my beloved pies didn't make the finals this year, but my brainwashed family and I are cheering for the Cats once again! After a nail biting end to the game Friday night I know it's going to be a good one!  

Friday was also Zarah's school concert! Time After Time was the theme and each class (thank god it's a small school) did a different era of music and dance and it was amazing!! 

 

 

Oh man she had so much fun! She is such a performer and loved every minute of being up on stage! Her class and the school as a whole put on an amazing performance! All the kids do soo well, you could see they all worked so hard to get it all right! These girls and guys were doing the 1950's and they did it so well! All the groovin' twistin'dance moves were on point! Well done guys!! 

Then Saturday took us further back in time as we entered the 1920's as our cousin had a Great Gatsby inspired party! I loved it so much. I'm such a dress up tragic! Again the kids had so much fun dressing up and feeling all glam! 

 

 

 

 

How cute are these kids??? My favourite part was dad and Nate dressed the same! Too cute!! So happy 30th Ash!

What an amazing weekend! Today was a nice finish with a cruise in the car and some hot chocolates at a small cafe in the middle of nowhere! Awesome family time had by all! Now it's time to start planning for the school holidays! I feel some camping coming on!

Hello all! 

I apologise for my absence again! It has been a tough one this year! I wrote not long ago about depression and dealing with it and admitted I was a working progress, progress comes in many forms I guess. 

Sometimes when you are dealing with things internally, you forget about what you are doing externally to those around you and visa versa. It's a tough gig. 

But how do we find balance? That is my newest quest. I want to be able to love and care for those around me as well as myself. I am redoing the Finley & Me 30 Day Challenge - 30 Days, 30 Ways For Mothers To Take Care of Themselves. I did this not too long ago, ok, I tried to do this but I'm focused at making a change in my life after I had a massive break down last night. 

It was a typical day, nothing out of the ordinary. We had to do the trip from Torquay to Melbourne so I had loaded the kids in the car and armed them with iPads. After sounding like a broken record lately, I repeated the same line as I buckled them in; Don't throw your stuff on the floor guys, that's how it gets wrecked. 

So later that day when I was ducking to the shop and I lifted Zarah's iPad (that the kids had secretly borrowed) lying on the floor, I was cross. I took a deep breath, picked it up and took it inside when I noticed the rather large crack along the bottom. 

I saw red. 

Lately I have been emphasising how we take care of our things and respect our property. Leaving anything on the floor is unacceptable. Falling on deaf ears though. Maybe after I returned to the car last night, they may listen. 

I may or may not have flipped my lid. 

I may or may not have told them in so many words how disappointed I was with the fact no one listens to me. 

I may or may not have told them anything left on the floor when we get home will be put away in the cupboard. 

I then may or may not have walked around the house collecting all the items left on the floor and put them up in the cupboard. 

Just before I broke down in tears. 

I really hate yelling at the kids, I hate telling them off or fighting with them but sometimes, enough is enough. And honestly, it's the only time they listen. 

But mostly I have been feeling under appreciated. I have found lately that no one does anything to make my day better or nicer. No one fakes to love dinner, no one tries to help me. But why? I have no idea. 

I made fettuccine carbonara for dinner last night. It was the first time. They all ate it and loved it surprisingly. 

So I know we shouldn't place our problems on our children, but sometimes they need to see what their actions are doing to us. Don't be afraid to express yourself around your children because if they don't see all your emotions then how will know what you are feeling or how they are effecting us? 

I am in no way saying let your children see you cry daily or berating them is ok, just be yourself, let them see who you really are. I want my children to know me like I know them. I don't want them to be scared of me or worry about upsetting me, but they need to see me too. 

I would love to know your thoughts! Are you the kind of person to share your feelings and emotions? Or do you hide them away? Do you have an experience with over sharing? Please feel free to comment below! 

Things are looking up, positivity is all around us! 

Oh hey there ... Easter is done and dusted for another year! I hope you had a wonderful time with your nearest and dearest.

We had a lovely day. I like Easter, it is a lot more relaxed than Christmas. Not as much stress, not as much expense, but the same family involvement and joy.

We bought some Easter decorations this year, which is something I have never done. They were just a couple of bucks at Kmart and the kids loved them, but I feel it is such a money drainer ... all these occasions needing decorations and cards and bags or wrapping! Do you wrap your Easter gifts? We DO NOT! I could't think of anything worse than trying to wrap a rabbit!!

We had the pleasure of attending the wedding of two very dear and wonderful people. This couple just exude love and positivity and their wedding was a reflection of that.

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I walked away from the night feeling honoured and well fed! The ceremony was held at the Williamstown Botanical Gardens on a glorious (possibly a little too hot, but there was plenty of shade) Sunday morning. The groom arrived on motorcycle and he and his groomsmen strutted their stuff down the red carpet to the sound of some Machine Gun Fellatio! Get this ... The following clip contains course language and may offend some people.

The bride was a customary 45 minutes late (Lol) and her entrance was graceful and stunning, for the name of the song has escaped me, but it was an awesome 90's hip hop classic! I loved it! It was very untraditional and unique just like them. The celebrant was laid back and funny and everything you would expect them to be, but everything you wouldn't expect from a wedding.

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I congratulate them on their creativity and willingness to do things their own way!

The reception was held at MAIA on the Docklands. Stunning. The old converted wharf has been turned into several reception rooms and the look is a combination of elegent and warehouse. The lighting made the room, it transformed it from something plain into an eye catching masterpiece.

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So once we were well fed and had a good laugh and chat, we were on our way home feeling loved and filled with happiness. What a great day and a wonderful couple.

Welcome to 2015.

Wow, what a year 2014 was. Now is a good time to reflect on that year, but never dwell. There is something special about a new year. A fresh start, a clean slate and all the rest, but i am not one to make resolutions as I feel they only bring a sense of failure if you don't lose 10 kilos or can't run 5km.

Eat well, excerise often, love each other and play well, that's all I can ask of myself this year and what a year it will be! 

I am taking a few weeks to be with my family and switch my brain off, hence whi i haven't been around a lot lately. I didn't quite end the year as well as I had hoped, but that is something to learn from and organise myself better for the year to come.

Thank you for joining me, I have enjoyed every minute and I look forward to a lot of fun and excitement this year. Lots of big changes again this year, so keep your eyes peeled.

Lots of Love from my family to yours xxx Hayley

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Yes, last week was our annual visit to the city Christmas edition.

Every year I pack up all the kiddies and we head into the city to do the Christmas thing, first we visit the Myer windows. For those unfamiliar with the Melbourne Myer windows, here's the deal! Every year the shop windows are decked out with moving puppets to recreate a book. 

***SPOILER ALERT***

So this years windows were adorable! The best ones since the Nutcracker ... here goes it! Santa Clause and the Three Bears! They were adorable! Santa went in to their house and ate the porridge, broke the chair and fell asleep in the bed! So totally cute! The book is available to purchase in store too! 

Myer is in to its 59th year this year, and I have been visiting the Christmas windows since I was a little girl. So I am looking forward to seeing what their 60th year brings! Well done on another marvellous year!

Then we head inside to SANTALAND! This is a fairly new thing, I never had this as a child but since Mikayla was two, we have been visiting Santaland after the windows. Here the children get to enjoy 

a free train ride on the POlar Express, Santa photo's are available abd although we get them done here every year, this year we had to pass as the line just was not moving and I had two very restless kiddos! And lastly we head into the Christmas trim section and find a special ornament that we can add to the tree. I look forward to the day that our tree is completely decorated in the ornaments we had purchased on these trips.

Last year we found the Gingerbread village at the Epicure centre at The Melbourne Town Hall, but as I had been completely cleaned out of coins we weren't able to make it in this year, but if you are in the area do check it out, it is amazing!!

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What we did find was Christmas Square, in the city centre, just a few blocks away from Flinders Street Station. Here there is roving entertainment, interactive candy canes and free Santa photo's. I just learned to that there is a light show on every Friday night, so get down there tonight to see it in action! Look out for the helpful nutcrackers too, they may have given my kids a little fright though!

Ending the day with an ice cream at the station and a train ride home, the kids had a ball. I love our trips into the city, they are too far and few between. Hopefully now that Nate is a little older we will be able to more of this! Summer in Melbourne is a wonderful thing, so many beautiful gardens and hidden secrets to find! 

Merry Christmas to you all! I would love to hear what you have done to get festive this year!

So last week we had an Elf sent from Santa to stay with us until Christmas. We named him Bob. Random, but the kids love him to death! He has been such an amazing part of our Christmas this year and kids truly love waking up and seeing what that cheeky boy has been up to! 

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen some of the images of the things he has been up to! If not, here's a recep of our first week with Bob.

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A short Hi from Santa made their morning on 

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Oh no ... he got into the stickers!

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A bit of reading in Zarah's bed

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We all need a nap every now and then! 

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Someone got a little tangled in the Christmas Tree

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This is Bob's first day at our house! Welcome to the family!

Today I took 30 minutes out of my day and sat at the same computer I sit at everyday, and instead of blogging or pinning or reading something about a craft I'll never do, I typed a letter to each of my children, sharing with them all the amazing things they do and how much I love them.

When I first started writing Mikayla's letter (I had to do them in age order because I am sooo anal like that!) I wondered if this was stupid and the kids wouldn't be interested. I thought will they all have a laugh later about mum's silly letters. But I went on and wrote a decent page long letter sharing my thoughts on her as a person and how much I love her. All positive points was the aim, I didn't once have a joke or a little dig, just honest love poured onto a page.

I may have shed a tear.

Then I went on and did Zarah and Ellexah's letters. I spoke to Nate rather than typed it, but now I think I might take the time to type one up so I can put it in his box of goodies.  (Mental note, I need to buy a box for Nate) I was feeling pretty satisfied by the time I completed them all, printed them and sealed in envelopes.

Come bedtime, I took each child up stairs for a bit of one on one time, so we could read the letter and spend a few minutes together. Lexi was a little disinterested. She listened for about two paragraphs then asked for the tv to be turned on, me to read a book, have you seen my new toy? I smiled politely and helped her put the letter back in the envelope and she was happy!

Zarah was disappointed, because she thought I got her 1D tickets ... major disappointment! But she was wrapped that I was taking the time to just sit with her, forget the letter! We ended up reading the letter anyway! Then the tears flowed. They opened like flood gates and between sobs I could hear, you're the best mama, you're the best mama ever! I couldn't believe her response. I know we say I love you all day and say well done, but to take the time to sit down with her and tell all the things that make me so proud, really means something more.

Mikayla was a bit the same, feeling the emotion of the time it took to share the letter instead of thinking it. It was really a very nice feeling to express all the things I think on a daily basis. They letters were really simple and straight from the heart, and that meant more then any other crap I could have done! Win to me! 

Tonight I am sitting here forcing myself to stay awake so that I can have 5 minutes alone time. Do you ever get like that? Is it odd that I force myself to stay awake to do this?

This week has been absolute chaos! I have driven the hour and a half round trip to my daughters school three times in the past two days, and I will do it again tomorrow for basketball. I have attempted shopping for clothes for an upcoming wedding and squeezed in activities for all the kids. We have rehearsed speeches, practiced a prayer for mass and I swear to God if I hear the words mum, mummy, mama or mama bear one more time I will commit myself.

I know that there are a lot more people worse off than me and there would be people rolling their eyes right about now muttering, first world problems, but they are still problems. My problems!

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Not that I think my children are problems (not all the time anyway) I think it is my lack of patience. But for what is patience when you are a mother of four ... is patience the little smile you find when there are witnesses? The sneaky turn of the volume knob when you know you are about to be included in the argument or conversation in the back seat of the car? Maybe it is the complete oblivion you find when your little ones are nagging or calling you for the three-millionth time today. Don't act all innocent, I'm not alone here, am I?

I hang out for these five minutes, the time I can sit in silence, find my calm spot and just relax before someone has a nightmare, or needs a massage or suddenly realises they have homework due the next day. 

Did your mother ever say to you, "I hope one day that you have a daughter three times as bad as you!" Guess what mum, your wish came true, but instead of one daughter three times as bad, I got three daughters three times as bad! I don't mean bad as in naughty, although somedays that is debatable, I mean forgetful, lazy, messy, unmotivated, whiney ... that list could go on and on and on! 

Being a parent is exhausting, maybe not physically like hubby gets, but mentally and emotionally. Some days I want to run away screaming then minutes later I melt for them when they give you those sappy eyes, other days you'll find me at the park being the big kid that I am, stealing goes on the flying fox! I love being a mum, I miss being me, but tonight I have realised that regardless of my 'status' I am me and that is all that matters!

Good night all and have an amazing weekend xxx

Well, hello there lovelies!

We have just come out of a long weekend here in Melbourne, the Melbourne Cup weekend.

The kids had the Monday off school, hubby had the whole weekend off, clearly I didn't have to be anywhere, so it was an all family weekend! We visited hubby's grandparents, we went bowling, we  ate junk food, we played at the park, had picnics and finished the weekend with lunch at a local spot with the whole family! It was great! 

But it was 'The Race That Stops The Nation' that took the limelight on the last day. Everyone threw in $2 or $5 to get a horse in the sweep, bets were placed at the TAB, silence fills the air as we wait for the winner to cross the finish line before everyone is a flutter again handing out winnings and checking tickets. 

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Then there are the poor horses. I am in no way an animal advocate. I don't protest for animal rights or disgust against racies such as this. But hearing the news of two horses being put down after running a race is devastating. The first horse, Admire Rakti, who was pinned to win the race suffered a heart attack, collapsing and concequently dying in his stall. A second horse, Araldo, broke his leg at the hands of a spectator with a flag. After being spooked, the horse leaped to the side and collided with a fence. the Injury so severe he had to be put down.

In all my veterinary knowledge, I don't believe either incidents occurred as a result of the race. Both were random occurrences that you couldn't envision, but still devastatingly sad. 

I have heard a lot of talk since about how selfish people are and how barbaric the race is. I don't agree. The race is something that has been happening for years. These horses are raised and trained to run like they do. Never are the horses mistreated or abused, most live better than you or I do!! They all undergo medical examinations and are on strict diets, so no, I don't think the race is the cause. Do we interfere in a marathon with human rights protestors saying what they are doing is wrong? No. Sadly these things happen and I think it is unfair to blame the owners or the trainers, they are dealing with enough at the moment to have to listen to your opinion!

Halloween is almost upon us, and although as Australians we tend not to get involved, I think it is a wonderful opportunity to use our imaginations and let the kids wild for a bit of fun! Obviously, safety is the main hiccup most people have, saying that we spend all our time teaching stranger danger then let them knock on peoples doors for lollies. But if you can teach your children the difference between having fun with mum and dad there and not doing it any old time, then you should be ok! 

So, I have done the usual 'Halloween is three days away, lets try and find some decorations and costumes' and lo and behold! There's nothing left!! So I have been scouring the internet for some creative ideas that we can use to make our ghastly house more ghostly! Here's what I found!

1. Glow in the dark pumpkins

As I mentioned before, we Aussies don't usually celebrate Halloween so the idea of carving a pumpkin is a little daunting! I think this is a much better idea! Find yourself some pretend, plastic pumpkins and decorate with glow in the dark paints! The kids can create their own designs and they won't rot after Friday has passed!!

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2. Monster Puppets

These are too cute! Great for little ones to get in and make something too! Sometimes crafting can be a little too complicated for the smaller children and I love that we can all do this!!

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3. Gone Batty!

These are just adorably spooky! Without freaking the kids out, it can be a little tricky decorating the house, but these bats look as though they are flying past with their 3D look! I love it!! Head to the Country Living site to download the template.

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4. Ghostly Balloons

It is super easy to create glowing ghosts to hang in a window or from the roof! Just simply add a glow stick to a white or clear balloon, blow it up, tie it off and add a spooky face and there you have it folks! DIY ghosts for your halloween!

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 I hope these quick, easy and kid friendly ideas come in handy! I know they will be dangling in our windows!!

Tomorrow, my little man turns one. Yes, ONE! I cannot believe how fast this past year have gone. With loads of ups and downs along the way, I still feel blessed for having this little monster in my life, in all our lives.

So tomorrow is the AFL Grand Final! 

We love the footy in our house, and although we follow the cats and the pies (who neither are in the final tomorrow) we still love to get in to it ... well, we kind of have to seeing that the father in law and sister in law both barrack for Sydney! 

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I had the most amazing opportunity, one of my biggest highlights since creating my blog. I had a chat with Rachael Finch, about all things fiber, being the All Bran Ambassador and living healthy. 

What a chat that was ... I started out all fan girl! I was like, I am a total fan *cue blushing cheeks* I follow you on Twitter and Instagram ... blah blah ... I wish I could edit phone calls!

Hello all!

Sorry it has been a little quiet on my end! It has been a mad house over here. May and June always are!

We've had birthdays, a Baptism, and plenty of school and out of school activities happening! As you already know we went away to Healsville too!

Firstly, I had a birthday! Yippee! Happy Birthday to me! This is what 32 looks like ...

I had a wonderful day! Hubby took the kids to school and Aerotots, before dropping me off at the beautician for pedi, massage and waxing! I had lunch with my Lexi when she finished, a snooze with her too. We picked up the kids, played for a while before dinner at the in laws. I was spoilt rotten too! New iPhone cover, slippers, voucher, perfume, jewellery stand and cardi! It was a great day with my beautiful family!

It was that weekend that we went away, only to return to the chaos of organising Mr Nate's Baptism. I had so much fun doing this. All this boy stuff is new and exciting and I love it! Trying to keep the budget tight, I did a lot things on my own, like the invites and the thank you's!

These were super simple and cheap too! The pillow boxes are from Kmart and were about $3 per pack, the ribbon I had left over from the invites and I got the labels from Officeworks for about $15, I had plenty left over too. The best part is that Avery have a website designed for their products, with templates so you can create what ever you need! Awesome! Then I filled them with Hershey's Kisses, because they are so damn yummy!

We had and amazing day. Surrounded by family and friends, we showered that little guy with so much love! After what was a horrible start, with me losing my bank card and then relocating to the MIL's house, the hair straightener and hair dryer dying, we were relaxed and were able to enjoy our day. 

Father Ian Baptising Nate

Nate with his Godparents

The Cake Table - Adorable cake made by my sister in law!

Love this idea! Created by Let's Celebrate

I was so pleased with it all. It had been such a wonderful and memorable occasion. I love my little family so much that it hurts, but on occasions like this I love sharing that feeling with those dearest. 

A huge thank you to my sister in law for the AMAZING cake, my in laws for opening up their home (last minute) and assisting in every other way, to Nate's godparents (even if Father Ian did forget your names) and to everyone who shared this special day with us!