Another blogging challenge


Yes, you read it right! Story Of My Life blog has another blogging challenge that kicks off today!
As I am lacking a little inspiration and I love a good writing challenge, I thought why the hell not!
Starting off, the topic for today is where did you come from? If you know me well or have read past posts, you would no I am not in contact with my family anymore. But I would glad to share story of me with you.
I was born at the Royal Women's Hospital, Melbourne in 1982. I had a basic childhood, nothing amazing, we holidayed, we day tripped. I was an only child for nine years and adored my brother when he was born - never feeling resentment toward him.
We were raised well, taught manners, to treat people with respect, not to take crap from anyone and music holds a strong part of my childhood too. Unfortunately, somewhere between all our life lessons, they forgot to pave the way of a relationship that we could share. My dad was the bread winner and worked a lot. My mother would stay home. She ensured that there was no relationship formed apart from parent and child. I don't doubt there was love there! Not at all! I know she would do anything for me, but she failed to create a safe and open line of communication between us.
As I became a teenager, reached puberty, met my first boyfriend she kept me in the dark, never spoke to me about what was happening or even allowed for me to share my concerns or queries. I felt alone. My first period was the worst, she sat on the edge of bed and said 'Get used to it, it happens every month.' Then bought me a mood ring from the store.
I'm awkward with these things too, but I can assure you that when my girls reach that part of their life, they will have the support and the answers they need.
As the years passed, we grew further apart. There was never a friendship between us, and without that I forced to become quite independent very quickly. I rebelled in the later years, making things worse I'm sure. But I passed that stage as I met hubby. We would still party and have fun but he encouraged me to have a better relationship, but it was too late to change.
At the age of 21 I gave birth to my first daughter, much to the disgust of my family. I know it was not something that they would have hoped for us, but we were happy and willing to take on the task. I still remember my mothers words one day. " I will not be the babysitter and I will not push the pram, I don't want anyone to think she's mine."
The person I could turn to was my dear grandmother. She was always on my side and made me feel loved. I never had to pretend with her. I was excited to tell her that I pregnant, I would always share my news with her, knowing I would receive positive feedback and great advice. She was the woman I admired and took my cue from.
When my little girl was six months, we stopped talking to my family because of an argument that we had about dinner. Two years later I came crawling back apologising to make peace. I missed my family. But they are hard work. I would have to go to them, I had to go where they wanted, they criticised everything and were disrespectful.
Strained is an excellent description of our dysfunctional relationship. I was blessed with a supportive and loving family to marry into. They took us in when we needed a place to live. They watched our daughter and allowed us to have a life of our own too. Still to this day we have their love and support in every aspect.
Sadly three years ago, we had yet another falling out. Actually it was more me being exhausted from their way of living. Christmas Day we were told that they were having dinner with my uncle, when our plan had been to see them at their home for dinner. When I asked when their plans changed, I was told that it was a few days prior and couldn't understand my issue. I was pregnant with our third at the time and extremely unwell. We'd been up since 6 and was looking forward to nothing more than relaxing with my family, watching my girls get a little more spoilt by their nan and pop before embarking on the next family event. That year, we ate McDonalds for Christmas dinner. I never forgave them. They clearly think I couldn't be bothered to see them. But when I asked if they could stop past on their way through to see the girls and so we could wish them a merry Christmas, she said no. They didn't have time.
This relationship, or lack of relationship, is what has made me the person I am today. Sometimes I see telltale signs of her in what I say or what I do, but at least I have the sense to rectify this when it happens, rather than pushing my girls away as they get older and need you just as much.
I hope everyday that I can be a better mother and a better person then she was. I want to love and be loved. I share my world with my family and I hope they see how much I am here for them, everyday, every minute. I love them so much more than I could ever express.
Thanks ... MCM xxx

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