Time for a change

Have you ever reached a point in your life when you don't know where you are headed? I mean, we aren't moving anywhere, personally don't know where you are headed.

I've reached that point. Its hard work being a stay at home mum. I have lost friends, became a hermit and found deep within that I have no amazing talents that can earn me a small fortune that I can spend all day spending at the local shopping centre.

Lately I have been assessing my life, where I am currently and where I want to be. I know that I love being here for my girls. I love being able to pick Miss 9 up from school and take Miss 4 to Kinder myself. I love watching Peppa Pig and Barbie movies. I'm a 'Lets pull out the make it box' mum and I love watching them run riot in the backyard. I'm know I'm not much of a house wife though. The house always seems a mess and I would always much rather plonk myself down in front of Facebook then pick up the vacuum.

So knowing that returning to work would be a massive shock to everyone's system I know it is inevitable. If I could stay home I would love to launch my Party Business, but now it seems that every second person is doing it. I'm not clever enough to actually do the styling myself so I could never step into that. I basically have to return to work! But the idea of sitting behind a reception desk or returning to dental nursing sends shivers down my spine, I hate nursing now. Being yelled at by dentists and watching the ungrateful patients who just want the cheapest alternative. Arguing with people of the expense. The travel and most of all leaving my girls. The whole idea is hideous! 

What do you do? I have tried this year to find that inner confidence, calm myself and become a better person. I have said previously that I have started the hypnotism at night and also the iPhone app I have to monitor my stress levels, water intake and exercise. I want nothing more than to be a fun loving, carefree person, living life to its fullest, but at the moment everyday seems to fall into the next and the days and weeks zoom past. How do you make the most of a life when you don't know what you want from it?

Sometimes I think I have been at home for too long! Two years out of work seems like a lifetime, but in actually fact it's nothing, I could slot back into my old job as if it was yesterday. But as a practice manager I need to commit to some massive hours too. Hmm ... where do you find the balance? When does this get easier? Is it true that we live, breed, work and die? Surely there is more to life than that?

Thanks ... MCM xxx

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