I Sea A Change ...

So if you have been staying tuned recently, you would know that we have been looking for a change. A change of lifestyle. A change of scenery. A change for the better. 

Well as our angels looks over us, we have been gifted a rental. Yes ... Yes ... Yes ... We are moving to Torquay! Oh the joy! For the first time in soooooo long, I am truely happy and excited! As too are the kids. 

This is a huge change, kids will have to change schools and kinder and activities and making new friends. Finding out feet in an all new place is massive as I have lived in our current area since I was 6! The younger three haven't even moved before! Mikayla has had several homes as we went through a buy and sell phase, but we have stayed at this house longer than we ever thought we would. 

I am beside myself with excitement. I feel it flowing through the kids and they too are excited. Yet as today comes to an end, I feel saddened. I feel like I am tearing the poor dears away from everything they know. Doubt consumes me, demands me to think that I am doing the wrong thing, even though I know deep down that it is right. 

 

Today I also picked up the keys! Walked through the the house and imagined myself there. I smiled, the kids ran around laughing and playing and it felt like home. Without sounding too cliché, home really is where the heart is, or the family is. 

This is an amazing opportunity, I'm not doubting that. But I'm finding leaving our home extremely hard. Twice tonight I tried to pack up my desk area. Ended up in tears both times. This desk was built by hubby for me. This desk is where I write and read and spread my ideas. I know I will have another desk, but will it hold the same memories, the same emotion? 

I am scared for what the future will hold. Will it bring love and laughter or tears and bitterness. I want to hope that this could be our happily ever after, that we will find ourselves settling here (Not so much in the rental house, but in the town) but everything is so uncertain. It's funny how a house can envoke such emotions, especially after such little time. But in six years we have had so many memories made. Two children bought home from hospital, rolling, crawling, first steps, first meals, birthdays, parties, family dinners, water fights, adult fights, cuddles, routines, sleepless nights worrying and laughter, lots of laughter. 

Oh, the tears ... I hate the tears! I always thought myself to be stronger than this, but I am such an emotional person. I get so attached to such silly things. I've been so positive about it all that I have forgotten to feel. I know we can make a home anywhere, letting go is just the hard part. So tomorrow will bring more packing, probably more tears and we will laugh at how silly mummy is as we pack our life into boxes to cart away to our new chapter ... What will our new adventure bring? Only we can decide.