When you are afraid ...

Zarah has a very real fear of animals, more specifically dogs.

It was something that was underlying for sometime. When we picked up our dog Jenna, she was two and did not like the idea of a dog, but when she came home she took a liking to her straight away. She was twelve weeks old then.

As Jenna grew Zarah adapted. She was wary of her most of the time and as she was an inside dog she learnt to deal with her being around. Then one day, like a switch, it changed dramatically. She couldn't be near her. She would have nightmares. She would scream and cry. At first we thought she just didn't want her inside or was putting on a show, but the fear in her eyes and in the sound of her scream was enough to put you on edge.

Sadly Jenna had to move into the back yard. She would sit at the back doors and look to us with such sad eyes. She received less and less attention as the kids took to not going outside because Zarah's fear had become that intense. Our own baby. The pup we brought home and cuddled and loved like one of our children.

She could no longer be in the car with her. She couldn't sit outside or even have her walk past.

Sadly we had to let her go. We thought about it and thought about it. And I cried about it and cried about it. Jenna was my baby. I loved that dog. For some reason or another, we have had to give up our dogs, every time. So saying goodbye to the most affectionate, psychotic yes, but still affectionate dog I have svn had the pleasure of meeting was the hardest thing I've had to do. So hard, it has taken me about six months to write this post.

A friend told me that we should get a dog, it will help with her fears. Laughable.

Although her anxiety seems to be settling, Zarah will still have an outburst occasionally. Mostly if the meeting with an animal is unexpected. Yet her fear of butterflies and birds seem to have settled a lot! Anxiety is not to be laughed at. It is a very serious condition that forever has me worried about her.

At the age five, such stress should not be existent in her life ... surely.