When Nine Becomes Ten

Oh my. Miss Nine became Miss 10.

I know I said recently that I didn't feel affected by the girls growing up because I know that another is on the way. But this is my little baby! My little girl that grew up with me, taught me as much as I taught her. My little big girl is now a preteen (as she keeps informing me) and after seeing her with her friends I see that she is no longer little.

It's heartbreaking to know what lies ahead for children. When I was ten, I was blind to the world. My parents kept me so sheltered that I knew nothing about war, boys, sex or the function of a woman's body! I had always been adamant that I would be open and honest with my children, so that they never had to be embarrassed about who they were or how their world changes.

Sadly, I don't seem to have followed through with that ambition as much as I had hoped. But if my girls ask me a question, I will answer them. Like when Miss Ten asked me how does the baby come out? I told her in a round a bout way. She doesn't need the gory details! But being ten these days seems so much different to when I was ten, or when my mother was ten. So how do we adapt? Video clips, movies and television shows all depict what our children learn about life. We either stop what they watch or work with the shows to educate our children to be smart.

Hubby and I argue over the use of chat apps and such that Miss Ten uses. He blatantly does not like it. I'm not a huge fan, but that is the way the world is these days. Times have changed. I could not imagine letting my children ride the streets on their bikes for hours like we used to. School holidays consisted of waking up, playing/tidying my room, lunch, then disappearing for the rest of the afternoon! Sadly in the world we live in, I couldn't trust my daughter to be out for hours and not know where she was. Is it me? Instead the kids communicate through chat, photos, and games.

Miss Ten owns an iPad and an iPod, between the two she has Kik, Instagram, email, iMessage and the games she loves. Having researched these apps she uses I feel comfortable knowing that they are safe program's for her to use. She has to authorise someone to chat with her on Kik and that person needs to know her user first, Instagram is set on private, so only those who follow her can view her pics, and obviously you have to have her email address to email and iMessage her. In a technological world, we need to adapt as well as keep our children safe. If they are having fun and no one is being hurtful or persuasive in any way, then what harm comes from chat?

I have also had many conversations with her regarding the issues with the Internet and what bad comes from it. She is not oblivious to the horrible world we live in. Unfortunately children have to know not to be trusting of strangers and I have explained how someone can pretend on the Internet because you can't see who they really are. So she gets it! We keep a close eye things too. We follow each other on Instagram and share our photo streams too. So there is no lack of trust when it comes to what she talks about or views. I just hope that as she matures, the trust stays. My mother and I had a bad relationship. It was never open or trusting and she judged ever move I made. So even though I was doing nothing wrong, I still didn't tell her anything. I don't want it to be like that for her, I want her to have a friend in me.

These are serious issues that I am sure all parents have or will face at some time, guidance is the key and communication is the solution! Please share your thoughts, I would love to hear what you have done.

Thanks ... MCM xxx